hmm, my life nearly skip yesterday. sorry everyone i didn't paid any attention to you guys. i suddenly had a blast from the past. and well i was tired at night. been feeling like shit early in the morning. somemore i was hearing people's confession bout love and stuff. i feel so sad that i did what i did last time. well, this saturday is gonna be the anniversary i guess. not the date but the event. seriously feel like shit and like i wanna punch something so hard that UGH ! now actually no mood to type anything. i am so down. plus the piano song is sad which makes my life more miserable. as long as i have her i think i can make it. holding on isn't hard. but what i've let go wasn't easy. maybe sometimes when life turns to the other side, i'll see the better side of it. i cant concentrate at all. i 've been writing scribbles of names everywhere. plus when i wrote my title for my malay essay it went something like this " tuliskan sebuah karangan jenis cereka yang bermula dengan *something*. karangan anda tidak hadir i loved her " my mind is so disturbed. maybe it's mamat putting the song " paranoid by JB " in my head. but no. i know the reason. i've never been so miserable this year butt why start now ? i wish i get accepted by the singapore scholarship so i'll leave next year and study there. but that would make me miss everyone here.
i know living life to the fullest isn't easy. i know that sometimes we have to let somethings go. i told my best dude in the whole world this advise when he needed it. i told everyone advises when they needed it. but now i need advise. i need a really good one. i am such a hipocrit. i tell but i can't do anything myself. i hate being in a situation where everyone wants to take care of me. i hate to be in a situation where i am the attention besides with my friends telling stories and/or jokes. maybe sometimes i need tell my friends ? to me they won't understand whats in my mind and heart. they won't. but how will i know if i never try ? i have a reasonable reason for that and that would be i don't want them to talk and pity me and care for me. remember the saying ? '' respect yourself is you want others to respect you ? '' or even '' don't do to others if you don't want others to do onto you ? '' try mixing them together see what you get. i find it hard to gain respect. i never did anything bad to my friends but i still get what i got. well thats so negative of me now. i never knew whats it like to be like this again. it's been like 7 months since i ever became this sad and down. yesterday was so dreadful. i didn't eat. i ate but not a lot. just to cover up my actions. so that my parents won't ask anything. i guess life is really pulling me down.
ever since we were separated i thought we could be together once more. it has been two years and i still can't forget you. wheater i like it or not people still talks about us. wheater it's bad or not i couldn't care less. i help you with your life. to get back what you wanted. ever thought what was on my mind on that very moment ? if it was envy a little. if it was the " why the hell me ? " feeling a little too. but it was more of the " what does he have that i don't " feeling that struck me that very moment. i know it's so late for me to release this feeling in my heart but i did what my heart wanted me to do for such a long time ago. how long would it take me for you to realize ? i've made bad mistakes. i've even make you cry. i've even see you cry. but never once i've heard you seek help and randomly ask, '' hey how are you ? " or " hey i heard blah blah blah " or whatever. i guess that feeling in you is really gone. till our forever meets no end. that ' end ' in you has come i guess. i always told my friends that we're so close , that we share secrets, that we even talk on the phone sometimes. am i just obsess ? am i just overprotective ? i'd lie and it's true. but i never told you that i love you unsincerely. many people knows your still here with me. many people keeps reminding me of you. many people called me stupid for doing so many bad things to you. i agree to all of them. no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. i'll never keep my hopes down. White Chess if your reading this. please don't follow my footsteps. please dont follow bad stuffs i did and regreted.
Baby Peaches i'm so sorry you have to read this.
i just really need to let this off my chest. Izzal didn't come to school. he go watch ManUtd.
i love you baby :(
aight not-so-cheerios.
i know living life to the fullest isn't easy. i know that sometimes we have to let somethings go. i told my best dude in the whole world this advise when he needed it. i told everyone advises when they needed it. but now i need advise. i need a really good one. i am such a hipocrit. i tell but i can't do anything myself. i hate being in a situation where everyone wants to take care of me. i hate to be in a situation where i am the attention besides with my friends telling stories and/or jokes. maybe sometimes i need tell my friends ? to me they won't understand whats in my mind and heart. they won't. but how will i know if i never try ? i have a reasonable reason for that and that would be i don't want them to talk and pity me and care for me. remember the saying ? '' respect yourself is you want others to respect you ? '' or even '' don't do to others if you don't want others to do onto you ? '' try mixing them together see what you get. i find it hard to gain respect. i never did anything bad to my friends but i still get what i got. well thats so negative of me now. i never knew whats it like to be like this again. it's been like 7 months since i ever became this sad and down. yesterday was so dreadful. i didn't eat. i ate but not a lot. just to cover up my actions. so that my parents won't ask anything. i guess life is really pulling me down.
ever since we were separated i thought we could be together once more. it has been two years and i still can't forget you. wheater i like it or not people still talks about us. wheater it's bad or not i couldn't care less. i help you with your life. to get back what you wanted. ever thought what was on my mind on that very moment ? if it was envy a little. if it was the " why the hell me ? " feeling a little too. but it was more of the " what does he have that i don't " feeling that struck me that very moment. i know it's so late for me to release this feeling in my heart but i did what my heart wanted me to do for such a long time ago. how long would it take me for you to realize ? i've made bad mistakes. i've even make you cry. i've even see you cry. but never once i've heard you seek help and randomly ask, '' hey how are you ? " or " hey i heard blah blah blah " or whatever. i guess that feeling in you is really gone. till our forever meets no end. that ' end ' in you has come i guess. i always told my friends that we're so close , that we share secrets, that we even talk on the phone sometimes. am i just obsess ? am i just overprotective ? i'd lie and it's true. but i never told you that i love you unsincerely. many people knows your still here with me. many people keeps reminding me of you. many people called me stupid for doing so many bad things to you. i agree to all of them. no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. i'll never keep my hopes down. White Chess if your reading this. please don't follow my footsteps. please dont follow bad stuffs i did and regreted.
Baby Peaches i'm so sorry you have to read this.
i just really need to let this off my chest. Izzal didn't come to school. he go watch ManUtd.
i love you baby :(
aight not-so-cheerios.
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